Madness

I’m feeling down, I feel defeated. I am so weak and there are so many threats in this world.

I used to think I could make a difference, but now I see the actual magnitude of the threats, there is nothing I can do.

I can’t help the overthrow of my authoritarian regime, I can’t prevent the future AGI’s from going berserk, and… there is nothing I can do. I am so small and insignificant. But hey, perhaps this means I have finally been enlightened! Perhaps, my perspective is finally more mature and perhaps this means, that I have finally become normal…

This is no normalcy, this is a curse. Once you see something, you can never unsee it. Once you know what wretched abomination of a mess is hidden under the skirt of the mother of nature, you can never forget. The scene will haunt you for the rest of your life, you will forever be under an unbreakable spell, cast at your heart and bound to your soul.

Its agonizing nature can only ever be tolerated by sedation of the mind, whatever the medium. For me it, had been ignorance through focus on the act of achieving of my desires. Also the only means of escaping of this torture, is rejection of mind. Madness. One shall embrace madness like an old ruthless lover who had finally returned to them, and not letting go of her for a second, if they wish not to feel that pain ever again.